When I was 15 years old I was struggling with my sexual identity, I was ashamed, confused, and tormented. I knew something was wrong, I knew it was a sin, but I did not understand why my desires were being pulled in that direction. I went to church but never felt safe sharing my brokenness. All I ever heard about homosexuality was that it was a sin and you went to hell for it. Well, actually I heard more, I heard it was contagious, I heard is was demonic, I also heard, it was something God hated. Even though I never told anyone, I felt like everyone saw it, and would discuss it without bringing me into the convo. So, eventually, I began to feel like I was contagious, dirty, hated, rejected by God, and destined for hell. My parents loved me but I felt like I would disappoint them greatly and I did not want to bring the family any shame.
There was a young adult that attended my church who also knew me outside of church. She was older than me and one day invited me out for coffee. Accustomed to being warned about the consequence of my sin, when she began sharing with me I thought that’s where she was going. Ready to be handed the common “HELL WARNING”, instead, I received love and affirmation. Her name is Marilyn, and she told me that Jesus loved me and I had a calling on my life. I do not recall the rest of that conversation but what I will never forget is that I felt seen, not for my sin, but for who God created me to be. Someone saw me in the image of God and it arrested my heart in a supernatural way.
Fast forward 20 years and she ends up finding me on facebook. She reached out and shared how elated she was with seeing me serving the Lord. That little girl she met at the “Diner” that night, who was confused and broken, was now a God fearing woman serving the church and spreading the Gospel. Her prayers were heard and she was able to see first-hand what God can do with a life. For years she probably wondered “What did Ruthy end up doing with her life?” “Did she surrender to God or to her sin?” “Is she walking in freedom or bondage?” and much more I’m sure. The absence and distance between us left room for the unknown, but one thing she could always bank on, is that the Lord was never going to stop pursuing my heart. Boy am I glad that he didn't. He pursued it, captured it, and continues to pursue it.
Last week something beautiful happened. Marilyn learned that I would be teaching a class to women and young ladies on how to study the Bible. She reached out and expressed interest in wanting to sponsor someone for the class, come to find out, the person she is sponsoring is her teenage little girl. I paused for a minute and began reflecting, my heart swelled with emotion and I felt the Holy Spirit prompt this question “Could it be, that 20+ years ago, as she sat across from me, she wasn’t just speaking into the life of a 15 year old girl, she was prophetically speaking into the life of her very own daughter?”
We do not realize that many of the prayers that we pray for people are full-circle prayers. Prayers that God hears outside of time and injects our present time with boomerang answers and miracles. That is the God that I serve, that is the God you serve, that is the God WE serve.
Pray without ceasing sisters! Love you all dearly……till next time, peace!